“i’m a montenegrin guy, why do i have to make my own food?”
23 Jul 2010 3 Comments
in society problems Tags: entitled males, incompetent males, montenegro, patriarchy, submissive woman
men in montenegro can be so incompetent!
ok, so, i understand incompetent people (men and women) exist in other places, as well as montenegro and i understand there are some pretty competent human males in montenegro, but, oh my god, sometimes it’s just hard to find them.
from my own experience, and i am not calling any names, i have found that some guys here think they are entitled to everything. take simple things: food always has to be cooked and served, clothes always has to be clean and ironed (i don’t know if he knows where the washing machine is and he probably thinks he’d die if he touched an iron) to my favorite one: “hey mom, bring me my socks so i can get dressed and go on a date with a real girl”. (this girl should run)
honestly, it makes me a little mad, but apparently there is nothing i can do.
i can talk about this topic with mothers and sisters who are “victims” of the entitled behavior of our montenegrin eagles, and believe me – there is nothing they would rather do than obediently serve the male gods of their lives.
why is this so? well, i am wondering that same question as well, being it’s the 21st century and all, but that apparently has nothing to do with it. see, our dear mothers, sisters, brothers and fathers have learned their whole life that… how do i put this… well, that guys are better than girls, that housework is humiliating to guys and that they should be served, “*grunt grunt grunt* we are men, you know”.
and so, my dear readers, us girls never stood a chance here. for it was us who have also been thought this. i know i know, even many of you girls out there disagree. well, i had a high school friend who thought girls belong in a kitchen, and home with the kids.
one thing always puzzled me, if guys are the ones competent enough to go out and work and provide for the family, how come they could never ever make their own sandwich?
you don’t have the slightest idea about being a teacher, do ya’?
03 Jul 2010 2 Comments
i was just wrapped into a conversation with a friend about teachers and professors or whatever they call themselves in montenegro nowadays… gotta tell ya, it’s not good. i find myself saying not so great things about some of the people that are allowed (for some unknown reason) to teach today, and it is making me confused.
first of, i am a really nice person (and not narcissistic at all) and i love everyone! but sometimes, bad teaching methods make me wanna go CRAZY.
while ago, a friend and i went presenting the idea of ASMYLE to montenegrin high schools, and in some of the average schools, the teachers told their students that there is no chance in hell they can win the scholarship. how encouraging, huh? the tragedy is - they are everywhere.
what kind of a TEACHER tells their students they are worthless? i know, i know, they are getting payed next to nothing, and they are bitter and the kids can be overwhelming and all that stuff, but, oh my god, if you don’t love it, don’t do it!
teachers can have crucial role in kids’ lives. they can get the kids love the idea of studying. they can get the kids to be interested in all sorts of things, if they love what they do. affecting someone’s life, educating them, playing games and learn through them, teachers have millions of methods they can make their day and the kids’ day amazing.
and then we have an interesting subject, and a boring teacher that ruins it. a person does not wanna study something mechanically, like a robot, strictly for the purpose of the test, not education.
i think i wanna be a teacher. i volunteer at the american corner, teaching kids conversational english. i thought at pdo for asmyle kids. that was an experience of a lifetime, oh, boy!
i love teaching. i love learning. but i don’t love unmotivated teachers who haven’t got the slightest idea how to motivate their students, but make them memorize 1000 pages of what could have been an incredible subject.
oh, there is so much left to learn for you guys… you most likely never will learn all this, and that is sad.
but, there are good teachers in montenegro. and they make my going to school worthwhile. thank you.
all the love.
And WHY exactly do i NEED to know that?
17 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in society problems Tags: annoyed, bad teachers, exams, importance, school
hi, everyone…
i am sure a lot of us in montenegro and maybe the rest of the world have a problem similar to what i am going through at this moment. you see, there’s this class i am taking, and it bores me out of my mind. no, i didn’t choose it, because, guess what, you cannot choose your curriculum in this country. not in high school, not in college. you can only choose what high school or college you wanna go to. for instance, i went to medical high school and now i am attending political science, dept. journalism.
believe it or not, in my two years in this university, we had one practical class where they actually graded our writing. all the other stuff… well, political subjects, of course! it’s okay if we can’t write, as long as we know the definition of culture by a thousand different people. thousand different definitions.
so, i am studying for this test i have tomorrow, very dry matter, very not fun, very… well, boring. every time i try reading it, i wanna go to sleep, and it’s not a bad subject. actually, it could be a LOT better if the professor would take a different approach to it. but no. the class consists in memorizing what a thousand people said about a thousand different things. and, i need to memorize it all. no, not learn. i said it right: memorize.
now, memorizing something will give you no knowledge whatsoever. as my boyfriend told me once, from the book to the head through the pen on the paper, and that is where it will stay. forever.
do you really think this is how things are learned? if you do, you are SO wrong!
and why exactly do i need to know how a thousand people defined culture? i would like it better if they would teach us creative thinking, so we could come up with our own definitions.
so, who is an animal, your dog – or you?
14 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in society problems Tags: dogs, evil people who chain up dogs are superevil, happiness, love, pookie
My Pookie! Dog 
hi, everyone.
people have been asking me what is going on with my blog (i am looking at you, two people person:) (i also love you!)), and i am realizing i haven’t done much writing lately. i did want to.
specifically, i want to talk about the treatment of dogs in montenegro.
us, dog lovers in montenegro probably all have neighbors that treat dogs like the most vicious animal that needs punishment because it has been so, well, vicious. which they of course, are NOT. until they make them that way. there are no such thing as BAD dogs. all dogs start out as puppies! and puppies! are the most incredible creatures on the planet! now, if you put a puppie! on a leash behind your house for a couple of years, it is sure to have mental issues.
people here think this is absolutely normal, and that dog should be on a leash. “that is its place. to guard our house against all the bad people in this world…” because everyone knows that if a person sees a CHAINED up dog, they will be afraid. YOU MORONS! a dog won’t protect while tied up on a chain! he cannot go anywhere! also, would you protect someone who has tied you up, does not let you run, and does not pet or play with you. does a prisoner protect a prison guard?!
i do not know if you can notice, but i am a little emotional about this. i have a dog. that isn’t the right expression. there is a dog that lives in my house, and she is a part of our family. i bathe her. i cut her hair. i play with her. i take her running. i buy her food and treats and i am gonna make her a birthday party this fifteenth, because she is turning a year! and i love her. with all the strength of my heart, i love my dog! (top that, country song writers!).
my dog, pookie, is one of the most incredible creatures you will ever meet in your life (and you will meet her when i start writing about her). she gives pookie kisses. she loves little kids. her body moves like shakira’s whenever she sees a new person, or whenever she sees a friend. she sleeps on her back. she thought me how to stretch. she is way better than a lot of people on this planet.
and i would have rather chained my self up, than did that to her.
i understand that the culture of my (not so incredible) country is such that people are ignorant about animal treatment. but, don’t you think when a dog barks all night, every night, for years, there might be something wrong with him? he needs something. he wants something. maybe freedom. maybe more space to move. more than a 10 inches. maybe? please, think on this.
dogs rock. dogs are better than people. i wanna be a dog. i’m gonna go hug pookie now.
all the love,
The Pros of Online Dating
28 Jan 2010 4 Comments
in fun fun fun!, society problems Tags: conversations, love, online dating, online relationships, relationship
hi, all. it took me a while, but here i am.
i really hope you didn’t read the title and think “online dating – forever?!” i am not saying that people should never meet, i am just going to introduce the pros of beginning a relationship in this way. my original title was going to be “the pros and cons of internet dating”, but when i presented this to my boyfriend, he said “and what are you gonna say the cons are?” he is right. i really could not see any that aren’t the same like in traditional dating.
i met my boyfriend online. no, i didn’t accidentally came across him, we were working for the same company and he was in a different country, so the only way we could correspond was via gmail chat and skype. oh, and did we ever. but, i am not gonna write my love story here. i am here to speak in favor of online meeting, getting to know each other.
first and biggest pro of internet dating is
talking! when you meet someone in a chat room, what do you do with them? chat! just chat. and then chat some more. and if you don’t want to chat anymore, you sign out, they do not know what you look like, and you continue to someone else. or not. you go read a book. doesn’t matter. but if you talk with this person for hours, and you wanna meet again and again and all that, there might be something to it.
i never met a boy that was willing to talk to me for a month. to get to know me, before he even gets to hold my hand. for me to get to know him before anything, until i discovered that you can feel something for someone that is typing words across from your monitor. it is possible. and it is not rare, either.
talking to someone for months.
second advantage is:
if you don’t like boys from your country, meet someone from where ever you want! no offence to boys in montenegro, but good god, really? most of them are dependent and just not right. i do not know many boys here who are capable of functioning on their own. honestly. uncool. so, you get to choose. the world got small since the internet, you can talk to anyone, anywhere. you can meet people from all over the world. it’s exciting. and amazing.
third one:
you feel safe. at least i did. at the time, i felt like i am just playing. i was willing to get the game to some pretty high places, and did not notice i let my guard down and allowed myself to feel the incredible emotions that took over me. i didn’t think i was capable of this, and i was shocked that something like this can be happening to me, with someone i have never met, but it was, and i accepted it (oh, and we have been together for the past 17 months, if any of you were wondering).
if you are an introverted person, it will be easier for you to open up to someone from the safety of your home. not everyone can go out and meet someone.
and the cons: well, anyone can lie to you, anyone can deceive you, wherever you meet them. when you are in a chatroom, do you think “everyone here is a predator”? because you are in that chatroom, too.
i have friends who moved to another country to be with the person they met online and are in love with. i have experienced this myself. i realized the greatest beginning to a relationship is getting to know one another through conversations and laughter.
worked for me.
all the love,
My condolences… NOT!
26 Oct 2009 5 Comments
hello again.
i know that death is a touchy subject and it is not my intention to make fun of death, only the rituals people have created regarding it. especially in montenegro. first, death is a sacred thing. i believe that by itself, death is something glorious. not saying it is good or bad. just saying it is an incredible thing that happens to everyone who is alive on this planet… sooner or later. personally, i am afraid of it. not the death of me, but my loved ones.
there are many rituals in montenegro regarding death. i am to address a few in this blog.
take condolences. like in the video you can see at the end of the post, which is also a parody on montenegrin funerals, there is an casket in the middle of the room surrounded by people related to the deceased. the people that come to give their condolences start from the left hand side (placed there is the most distant cousin, usually) and goes on to the first in line, saying something that can be translated into “i participate in your grief” and shaking the person’s hand.
the other custom is to pay people money to come and cry and yell and scream out loud, so people would think the deceased was loved. these woman that come and cry and yell are known as “lelekache” and that is what you can see in the beginning of the video. only guys do it in this one.
so, let me tell you what inspired me to write this. my mom and dad were complaining tonight how they have to go to some condolence and “participate in grief”. honestly? horrible. this is the main problem with funerals montenegro. people feel the need to go even if they did not know the deceased.
“you know, my former neighbor’s mom’s sister in law’s distant friend of the family’s grand dad died, and i have this obligation to go…” and stuff like that. and my parents did go to a distant cousin’s condolence, because they cared about the people that this cousin left behind. and that is fine… i just wouldn’t say “i participate in your grief”. how disingenuous is that?!
and then they ask me, what would i do if someone i loved died… well, i wouldn’t let people “participate in the grief” ! wouldn’t let anyone see or talk to me. and honestly, being it’s one of my biggest fear i do not wanna think about it.
i think life is incredible. and i think death is frightening. but death is not something that should be trivialized and made into something disingenuous. by itself, death is amazing. you can express grief or support by a hug, or just using some other words other than those prescribed by society. i was on one of these things once. i didn’t say that i participate in the grief, because i didn’t feel like there was a way for me to do so. and, i would feel like one of those flight attendants if someone had done it to me “enjoy your flight, enjoy your flight, enjoy your flight, enjoy your flight, enjoy your flight, i participate in your grief, i participate in your grief, i participate in your grief, i participate in your grief, i participate in your grief, enjoy your flight…” can get confusing.
have fun watching the video,
all the love,
wanna go to the states for a year, it’s all free? …. “no!” *the tragedy of studying abroad in montenegro*
21 Oct 2009 11 Comments
hi. this is draft two.
don’t know if you read my about me, but i am an asmyle alumni. asmyle is a exchange student program that allows people from all over the world, montenegro included, spend a year in the united states for free. it’s thought out as a cultural exchange program, where teens from here would learn about american culture, come back home and apply the knowledge in order to improve the society we live in.
sounds pretty neat, yeah? well, apparently, not everyone thinks so.
so, this year we had testing for asmyle after a year of not having an asmyle in montenegro. first testing center was in bijelo polje, on october 21. bijelo polje, for those who do not know, is a town in the north of montenegro. not much to see, not much to do, almost like every other town that is not on the coast. so, also, not many opportunities for kids to go away for a while and change their way of thinking. even less of free opportunities.
that is where we came into play. every year now, there were two testing centers, podgorica (the capitol) and a city on the coast, bar. this year, we tried to animate the north, so our coordinator, ivan, said how it would be great to have a testing center in bijelo polje. and everyone went for it. it was a great idea!
so, ivan and i traveled up north to help out with the testing. wanna know how many people showed up? 34. that is it. 34 people from the north montenegro wanna go to the united states for free. ivan and i were worried about the small number of applicants, so we went to local high schools to try and recruit someone. all we got were negative replies. it’s fascinating.
i couldn’t stop wondering why is this so? after talking to several people, i am realizing there are a lot of reasons for it, and they are all equally important.
- not everyone is ready to leave their family and environment. i believe this to be the most common reason of all. us that grew up in montenegro know the kind of life is being led here. it’s always quiet and nice, don’t try to disturb or change anything. people are afraid of changes. “what is wrong with living in montenegro?” or “why would i wanna leave my mom and dad and brother and sister and cousin him and cousin her…” and so on and so forth. even if you wanna go, some people would wanna make you feel guilty for “leaving” them. don’t let that happen. it’s your life, you should take opportunities that great.
- most people think they cannot pass the tests. it’s always someone else that wins all the prizes! it’s always that other person that has a godfather here or an uncle there. well, this doesn’t work like that. there is a chain of people that pick the winners. they cannot all be corrupt. (it’s mathematically unlikely).
- dear sweet pride. a very good friend diverted my attention on this today. people don’t want other people to make fun of them when they don’t pass. it’s like “i’d rather not take it at all, than take it and fail in round 3″. you never know what criteria they are grading on. you could be perfect for it.
- not everyone is a leader. some people just don’t wanna do it. they are introvert, shy, do not wanna be in the spotlight and cannot take the pressure. that is fine, that is why the testing is so long. we are exploring all your personality angles.
- north of montenegro is more closed. as ivan said in his comment. i agree to that (i also changed the title) so, i guess we are expecting hundreds in podgorica on saturday.
there are more reasons to this. that is why montenegro needs to change. montenegro’s youth needs to change.
as asmyle alumni, we are trying to do this. it is very difficult when there are 5 of us working (the other 5 is studying abroad), and good for them! no, really, not all the alumni are active and that is the reality. us that are doing something, we are making up for a lot. and we are good at it, too! we wish more people would help out, but there is always the time deficiency.
anyways, testing in podgorica is on the 24th at 8:30.
prove me wrong.
all the love,
wife…? no, thank you. what else you got? weddings are SO foofaraw.
13 Oct 2009 2 Comments
in society problems Tags: contract, foofaraw, funny, love, redundant, wedding
foofaraw. i was dying to use that word (you can click on it for a definition)
hi.
i was riding a bus while back, coming back home from my boyfriend’s house. the bus driver had the exterior appearance of a drunk person, and i when i first started taking that route with him behind the wheel, i was a little frightened. but i came to realize the man is not really drunk, he was just a tired man who probably had a fairly difficult life.
we had a few hellos here and there and then he noticed that i was taking this specific route to visit my boyfriend. he seems happy about that and sometimes he would ask me questions.
so, that one time, from the beginning of my post, he decided to ask me when will i marry my boyfriend and leave the country. i laughed and said how i will not do such thing. his face got an expression of a question mark and he said something that sounded silly to me, but here, sadly, it can be true. he asked “but, isn’t that (to get married) what you, young girls, dream of?”
“well, maybe. but not me. my dreams are more… intellectual. i dream of phDs.” he laughed. not the answer he expected.
that just popped back into my head and i laughed. it’s funny how society teaches little girls they have to get married and have kids… and that is not only here, in montenegro. it’s all over the world. even funnier is that it teaches little boys not to marry, or delay it as fast as possible.
and then you have all these females wanting to get married and all these males wanting to have fun, instead. not saying marriage isn’t fun. i just think that a contract shouldn’t be used in the case of love.
i, as i have probably mentioned before, in About me section, am madly in love. but i don’t see why would i have to, or even want to, sign a contract that says this. i write this and tell it and think it every breathing moment. and he knows it and i know it. why would church or state be given the right to make my relationship “official”? i made it official, by starting it.
i am so happy my boyfriend does NOT wanna marry me. it gives me even more assurance we’ll stay together forever. *sigh of love and devotion*
i have been to a lot of weddings. seems that most weddings lately happen because SHE is pregnant and thinks she will be though less of if she has a child, and there is no legal contract between her partner and her. so, they call each other husband and wife, and than it’s okay that her kid is born 5 months into the marriage. not all weddings happen because of pregnancy, of course.
the only reason i would get married is the wedding dress. god, they make them so pretty. i plan to go and try them out soon. just for fun. they are so big and pretty.
society is so funny sometimes. i try not to play by its rules.
but, nowadays, weddings represent a business. just think about how much do those wedding dresses cost! and then food and drinks and the dance halls and the outfits that people have to buy to look their best.
that is what weddings are – foofaraw.
marriage – well, you do not need a contract to be in a relationship. you need love. marriages tend to suck the love out of the relationships. that is how lawyers make their money.
love people, cherish love. there is no ‘contract’ in LOVE.
all the love,
what do you think when you see a talking doll on tv…
02 Oct 2009 3 Comments
in society problems Tags: fake, funny, journalism, montenegro, problem
…telling you how 5000 people died in some distant country while at the same time trying to smile and look pretty for the camera?
i am a cub reporter. i don’t know if you knew, but apparently, that is how they call us, beginners in this business. and, no, i am not 180 centimeters tall and work as a talking doll on one of the local private tv station. i actually write.
hey, i started this blog to practice my writing skills. and to make people laugh. you know, those people with a sense of humor, that do not offend easily. i will talk about that later, i am getting off the subject.
so, there are these tv stations in montenegro whose program is less informative and educative than teletubbies (but just as colorful). when you have a tv show whose program looks like it has been thought up by a bored sociopath who just wanted to hurt people by making them more… well, stupid, then you can actually say you have failed as a tv station. or in some of their cases, succeeded. maybe they want us to be the nation of idiots, doesn’t that make it easier for them to sell us stuff?
“journalism school?! what the hell do you need that for…?” one of my colleagues in college quoted a doll today in class. do you mind if i call them dolls? thanks.
well, it’s really what they think today… journalism school is unnecessary. what you NEED to have is no brain, so it is easier for the whole crew. “here, this is the text some journalist wrote in some agency. read it, who cares if we stole it or not.” she does not care, she gets to be on tv. oh, how fun! her dream came true. she can now read someone else’s hard work and not care that much about that. what she does care about is, do these jeans match that shirt, and maybe this skirt should be shorter.
it’s not every day you get to be on tv in a 600 000 people country. ha! i think everyone in montenegro has been on tv at least once.
but they are different! they are special.
there are journalists in montenegro today. real ones. really, there are. even on tv stations. they are people who work hard, create their own tv show, write, edit, do it all. “clap clap clap” to that.
aaah, editors. don’t like those. i don’t think any journalist likes that editor whose sole purpose in life is to butcher their piece. don’t get me started on that.
i’ll leave it at that for now.
all the love,
OK, So I am Naive. But I LOVE and don’t hate…
19 Sep 2009 6 Comments
in society problems Tags: belgrade, discrimination, gay, love, parade, pride
OK, so, you know how this Belgrade Pride is tomorrow. I am getting super excited for it, I have many gay friends all over the world and it is easy enough for them to live a nice life, without a constant threat that someone will beat them up.
Can you imagine that?! Just out of no where, because you chose to wear pink over blue, some one will physically harm you, leaving you with all sorts of injuries and pain! Real pain. Both physical and emotional.
There are some stupid people here.
So, I am walking up to school yesterday, and see this girl, she is a long time friend, and we start talking, “what’s up” and that sorta stuff. I mention I am going to Belgrade in a few days, there is some sorta conference I need to attend to.
She looks at me and says, in an “almost” evil way, something to the extent off “too bad you are not going earlier, to beat those paraders up”
I AM SHOCKED! How can someone hate some they did not meet, EVER?
But I should know better, I do live in the Balkans, where everyone hates everyone because of the country they were born in and other ridiculous things!
So, I laugh with a trace of disgust and yell “No discrimination!” Did she know what she said? Did she knows that she wants to commit a felony (among other things) and beat up some poor boy or a girl? All they want is to come out, be who they want and be free. And not be afraid.
I am also sick of the “why would they wanna do it in public?” thing, too.
Why the hell not? It’s their constitutional right, for god’s sake! Not that god has anything to do with this, he’s taking a nap right now, while all these people are being hated and beaten up.
So, I say (being naive and all that), I WISH I WAS THERE, TOO!
Have fun, guys, show it you are better than the ignorant idiots!
All The Love,
So, I have to edit this post just a little bit… The parade has (allegedly) been cancelled. Police is too scared that these people might get killed.
How weird is that? Would you kill someone because they have a different view of the world, because they are of different sexual orientation, because they would choose pink over blue? Would you? Would you take a life for that?
All the love,
